Sunday, November 30, 2008

Dead LOLCATS

Because the best kind of laughing cat is a dead laughing cat.


If this is your picture and you did this to your cat, please get in touch because you are definitely my type.








I know, I know - What is it that's so erotic about these things? Their confidence? Or their vulnerability?









Disclaimer: Anything here that seemingly violates the Blogger Content Policy is actually a joke. It is artistic expression, satirical in nature, and doesn't actually promote any of the things that it seems to promote.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Wikipedia Contest: Blocked IP Speedrun

For those who know how to capture video off your desktop:

The game is getting your IP address blocked by Wikipedia as fast as possible. It is completely up to you of course, but here are two modest suggestions.

1. Try replacing a major article's introduction with "Obama sucks George Bush's Ass" repeated over and over again. Then, replace the entire content of the rest of the article with "Obama sucks George Bush's Ass" repeated over and over again. Keep on changing it back to this as well as doing it to other pages. Call any administrator that challenges you an "Obama-Fag".

2. Replace entries of phallic shaped items like hot-dogs, cucumbers, and head phones(i have serious porno curve) with pictures of penises. Do whatever comes to mind: missiles and guns = primed penises, a porcupine = hairy penis. Finally, replace the post on penis with "Obama sucks George Bush's Ass".

In conjunction with either of these, you could add a message saying "Trash Wikipedia Day" and linking here or explaining it yourself. Set it up like a chain letter - they have to post the same message five times... This way the whole thing turns very subversive and they'll want to stop you fast.

Rules:
You must be new to wikipedia - you can't have history of this already.
No programs/automation - everything by hand. Of course, copy and paste is allowed.
You must be blocked because of inappropriate use - don't ask someone to block your IP to test if it works or anything. You must offend people!

Tips:
Do it on highly viewed pages.
Do it during peak editing hours.
Offend everything and everyone.
Send me the video.

Remember, while this game is fabulously fun, you can only play once before changing IPs, so make it count.

EMAIL

Disclaimer: Anything here that seemingly violates the Blogger Content Policy is actually a joke. It is artistic expression, satirical in nature, and doesn't actually promote any of the things that it seems to promote.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Horse Penises

The internet is a big place, but I guess not big enough. I want a site dedicated to horse penises. I don't care if it's just a single page full of wonderful pictures of horse cock that you could scroll through endlessly, or if it's a full database, organized by breed and colour, flaccid, erect, semi-erect, circumsized or not (for God's sake, hopefully not, poor horse), and, of course, size. Actually, I definitely would prefer the database. It should be like IMDB; call it IHPDB. It could have a top-250 ranking, information on the horses and the photographers, message boards, and anything else you could think of. What about celeb horses? What do you think Mr. Ed's penis is like? I bet Mr. Ed was female, but still, Hidalgo, Francis the Mule, that Horse in Babe, there must be some famous males. It would be huge. I wonder if Amazon's interested.

I just don't undestand why horse dick is so unpopular on the web. I'm not promoting bestiality here (see disclaimer). I'm just saying, it is despicable that we don't have a page dedicated to these things already. We know there is a demand for it. There must be enough nuts out there that would pay hundreds a month for this site, so why doesn't it exist? Maybe your average horse penis afficiando doesn't know much about the internet. I assume they would be mostly unsophisticated country folk, so they can't make the page themselves, but they do have the internet you know and they will look at the thing. It's a huge market.

Here is a picture of a horse with a penis. I don't have the horses permission and I'm unsure about the blogger rules, so I'm hiding his identity. But isn't it fascinating? Look at it. Big, irregular, just waving there, out for some air, ready to pounce - that's another point for nudism.

















I'm not sexist though. There is probably enough demand for a site full of horse boobies and vagina as well. Maybe once we get the IHPDB up, we can get working on that.

Also, of personal interest - pictures of horses wearing hats, but that's just me. I understand if people aren't as enthused like they are for the cock.
So, if anybody wants to start working on such a site, or better, knows of a site that already does this, let me know (Weirdos need not reply).

Addendum: It turns out Mr. Ed was male but had been castrated.

Disclaimer: Anything here that seemingly violates the Blogger Content Policy is actually a joke. It is artistic expression, satirical in nature, and doesn't actually promote any of the things that it seems to promote.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

World of Warcraft Registry - Watchlist

With over ten million active players, World of Warcraft is the dominant fantasy land for geeks and losers alike. Unfortunately, through the anonymity of the internet, these freaks sate their perversions with few or no repercussions to their reputation and respect.

Here is what I suggest. Just as certain sex offenders have to register with watchdogs groups, we make a website devoted to catching and reporting known and suspected Warcraft players. If you know of someone who plays Warcraft, you take a photo of them, ideally in an embarrassing, filthy, semi-naked-with-gut-hanging-out, mid-game pose, and put it on the site with a brief bio and description.

Imagine, a website full of these:


We could rate them and map them and pretend they were married to each other! Anyone got something?


Disclaimer: Anything here that seemingly violates the Blogger Content Policy is actually a joke.

Stuff I Would Like

Welcome.

In response to the serious lack of offensive content on the internet I created this blog. Hopefully, over the next little while we (me and you) can organize and create enough obscene material to alleviate the pains from any boring stretch of time this vapid world throws at us.

Here is how this page will work: I am going to present an idea of something I would like to see made or done. If possible, you are going to make it or do it and document the results. I will either link to or publish your work and somehow or other we will both be compensated and become stinking rich.

Sincerely,
Keith
001bkw@gmail.com